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Our Oversized Christmas Tree!

For some reason we decided that having a 10'(ended up being 11'+) Christmas tree would be fun, since we have 12' ceilings and may never have ceilings this high again.

NEVER get an 11' foot tree…EVER!  Not only did I not have enough lights, but getting this thing in the house, trying as two gay boys unfamiliar with saws to cut some of the trunk off with a saw that was made for plastic, not wood, and getting it standing up straight were a nightmare!

Decorating it was fun, and I'm glad to have a tree again.  I've been living on my own since early 2002 and I've only had a Christmas tree one of those years.  I love Christmas normally, but this one so far has been filled with lots of emotional and mental turmoil.  I hope it works itself out soon.

Anyway, I think the tree came out beautifully.  It was my fiance's idea to put the garland at the bottom.  Not sure how I feel about it yet.

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QotD: In My Shopping Cart

Where do you do your online shopping?

I do my online shopping all over the place.  I use Froogle.com, MySimon.com, and Shopping.com to help me find the absolute lowest prices.  I also do some shopping on Ebay and Half.com when I'm looking for books or PC games.  When I want CDs, I without a doubt always go to yourmusic.com.  It's $5.99(soon to be $6.99) for all of their CDs, with FREE shipping.  Love it, love it, love it!

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My Celebrity Look-alikes

So apparently I look like Freddie Prinze Jr.  I don't mind that comparison in the least!

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Journaling The Journey

Oh, why do the good days end
Makes me wonder now
With the way I feel
If yesterday was even real

And why, oh why do You seem so far away
Could it be that I’ve gone too far this time
And can I make You change Your mind, oh.
Why should any day, why should any day
Why should any day, should any day
Be like today?

Do I wallow in my insecurities?
Do I trust what my feelings are tellin’ me?
Or do I rest in the promise You made me
That You’ll never leave?

One of Those Days" – Chris Rice

Well, I'm finally blogging again.  It's been a while since I had my last blog.  Some people discovered it that were not supposed to see it so I had to remove it.  Here's hoping it doesn't happen again here.

All of this blog is about a journey.  I'm in a period now where I am incredibly confused, lost, and frightened.  I am questioning everything I've ever believed(again) and it's all pretty terrifying.  I am a Christian.  I am gay.  I am engaged to a wonderful guy.  I am feeling trapped.  I am twenty-three years old, and have yet to obtain my college degree.  I am passionate about civil rights, youth suicide prevention, and many other aspects of Social Work.  I am also passionate about Youth Ministry.  At this point, I am trying to figure out where God wants me, and recently, if God even has specific plans for us as I've always believed.  Is He even the God I've always believed in?  I believe in God, I believe there is a Creator…everything else is up for grabs to some degree.

Yeah, I'm questioning everything.  I feel like I've just started walking through a cave, devoid of any light.  I know I will get through it, but I'm afraid of the pain I may encounter or may cause others along the way.  I'm afraid of broken dreams, broken hopes, and broken hearts.  If you pray, pray for me.  If you've been through this journey, share your experience with me.

What if you’re right?
And he was just another nice guy
What if you’re right?
What if it’s true?
They say the cross will only make a fool of you
And what if it’s true?

What if he takes his place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taught us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?

But what if you’re wrong?
What if there’s more?
What if there’s hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He’s more than enough?
What if it’s love?

What if you dig, What if you dig
Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends
What if you dig?
What if you find
A thousand more unanswered questions inside
That’s all you find

What if you pick apart the logic
And begin to poke the holes
What if the crown of thorns is no more
Then folklore that must be told and retold

But what if you’re wrong?
What if there’s more?
What if there’s hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He’s more than enough?
What if it’s love?

You’ve been running as fast as you can
You’ve been looking for a place you can land so long
But what if you’re wrong?

What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He’s more than enough?
What if it’s love?

"What If?" – Nichole Nordeman

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