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A Second Wind

Today marked my 7th year in a row participating in the Second Wind Fund Walk/Run. I walked by myself the first two or three years but have had friends join me as team “Beau’s Beauties” ever since. This year I was joined by my awesome friends Jamie, Dennis, and Anais. Sadly, the list of people we walk in memory of has grown over the years, but the money we raise goes directly toward paying for counseling for struggling youth.

Beau's Beauties: Dennis, Anais, Jamie

Beau’s Beauties: Dennis, Anais, Jamie

My heart is heavy thinking about Dustin, Jesse, and the others we’ve lost over the last few years. It’s a mostly upbeat, festive event but there always comes that period when my friends leave and I’m left alone with my thoughts, my memories, and a giant pit in my stomach. I miss them desperately.

It was all brought back pretty abruptly last month with the death of Robin Williams, but the truth is it’s never very far from my mind. I think of Dustin and Jesse at least weekly; sometimes it makes me smile and sometimes it’s completely out of left field and knocks the wind out of me. It’s pretty awful having to re-realize that someone is gone, I do wonder why our brains do that. I’ve had dreams of both of them, and in the dream was so relieved that I was mistaken and they weren’t really dead, only to wake up and find that it was all fiction.

I miss them, but we walk in their memory and do our best to provide support to those who need it most. If you’d like to contribute to the Second Wind Fund, fundraising is still open for my team.

1-800-273-TALK (8255)            1-888-628-9454

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Another Year, Another Loss, Another Walk

I walked yesterday in the Second Wind Fund Denver Dash to raise money for suicide prevention. This was my 5th year participating and as always it was a great experience. I walked in memory of Dustin Council and Jesse DeRouen.

Jesse & Dustin

Jesse DeRouen & Dustin Council

I’m extremely grateful to my friend Jamie for joining me. Usually I manage to get together a larger group, but I didn’t have much time to focus on it this time, with my 12 hour treatment days. I am always torn at the event between feeling the loss deeply and being an emotional mess or enjoying having so many friends and loves ones around supporting me and the cause. It’s an interesting and intense jumble of emotions.

Jamie after the SWF Denver Dash

I’m missing both Jesse and Dustin terribly, but I’m doing my best to remain focused on my treatment and my recovery. Incredibly grateful to my friends here at ERC and my friends outside of program. If there’s one thing I know for sure it’s that I can’t do this alone. Thank you all.