I remember hearing the news at a time when I was still very closeted, wanting to believe that what I was experiencing was a phase.  The people in my life, family, church, etc. all viewed Matthew’s murder with no hint of sympathy.  He was a “faggot” and got what was coming to him, was the general belief.  It’s hard to even type those words, but we all know those mindsets exist, and if you don’t you should get with reality.

I outwardly followed along with their detestable views, but inside I was heartbroken.  I remember when MTV produced a film about Matthew, I couldn’t very well watch it in the living room, so I went into my parents’ bedroom to watch it.  When my mom would come by to see what I was watching, I’d quickly flip to, of all places, Fox News.  I sat in that bedroom in front of the TV, fighting tears and listening closely for approaching footsteps.

As I began typing this I realized that I’ve lived to be 5 years older than Matthew was when he died.  It feels extremely unfair.

The world is a very different place than it was when Matthew was murdered.  Since then Judy has marched, and rallied and spoken hundreds of times.  She has lobbied on Capitol Hill and stood by as very important pieces of legislation have been signed.

I was lucky enough to march with her as we stood outside of the Focus on the Family campus.  I listened as she told them to stop attacking our families, to stop causing so much hurt, to stop encouraging hatred.  I watched as she approached representatives from Focus on the Family and presented them with an album filled with photos of LGBT families, families that Focus on the Family dismisses as illegitimate.

In her speech this past Monday Judy answered a question I have had for 11 years.  Did she support Matthew before he died?  The answer is unequivocally yes.  When Matthew came out to her, she had already known, just her mother’s intuition she guesses.  There was also the fact that as a child he dressed as Dolly Parton several Halloweens in a row, she told us all with a laugh.

She spoke about her entire family and their support of him.  Matthew’s father accepted and supported him as well.  It’s funny how over the years, I’ve wondered about this more than anything.  Did Matthew die knowing that his family loved him unconditionally and that they accepted him for who he was.  I’m relieved and happy to know that the answer is a very strong “YES”.

Judy, thank you.  Thank you for Matthew, thank you for letting us all get to know him, thank you for keeping his memory alive.  Thank you for fighting prejudice and hatred.  Thank you for saying “we” when you speak about the LGBT community.  Thank you for taking your grief and turning it into something so powerful.

Well I really don’t want to turn this into the “excessive force by police officers” blog, but this one is a national headline as I believe it should be.

Who are we really being terrorized by?  I’m starting to question.  What the hell is going on?

Is this kid going to be looking over his shoulder every time he walks down the street?  Will he ever trust police officers?  I’m just sickened by it.

Read the full storry at The Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/24/jordan-miles-teen-violini_n_434772.html

I do wish that the bill could have been sent through Congress on its own accord, but attaching it to a defense bill was the safest bet for getting it through and the Democrats did the right thing in doing so.

Matthew’s parents Judy and Dennis have worked tirelessly to see this happen and I have enormous respect for both of them.  I had the wonderful opportunity to meet Judy at a Soulforce event protesting Focus on the Family and their hurtful, dangerous rhetoric.  She was incredibly sweet and genuine and my heart broke all over again for this women who was thrust into a role that no parent would ever wish for.  Hate took her son from her she chose to go on and fight that hate,  She is my personal hero because of it.

Today as I watched the above videos I stumbled upon this great video which contains the statement that Dennis Shepard gave during the trial of one of Matthew’s murderers.  The audio is from the movie “The Laramie Project”.  It is incredibly moving.

Is this happening more often or is the Internet just making us more aware of it?  This police officer didn’t know he was on video, obviously.  The kick in the head, then pushing the guys arm up way beyond where he needed to, then the high five…pretty disgusting.

I know the guy is a criminal and I know he’s a suspected gang member, but does this really help reform anyone?  I believe this kind of behavior does nothing more than send more young kids into gangs and helps to create distrust and hate toward police officers in general.

From what I’ve read this officer hasn’t been disciplined or suspended yet, but I’ll update when I find out more.

I’ve been haunted lately by the images of teenagers Mahmoud Asgari and Ayaz Marhoni as they wept and waited for their execution, pleading for their lives.  There are questions about their case, and whether or not they were executed for their consensual homosexual acts or not, but regardless, hundreds of people are executed in Iran and other places for simply being who they are.

There are people and organizations working to make change around the world.  Please consider joining up with Amnesty International and making a recurring donation.  When atrocities like these and in many other categories appear around the globe Amnesty is always there fighting for justice, peace, and human rights.  I have the utmost respect and gratitude for Amnesty International, and if I’m lucky maybe someday I will work for them.

I used to be a right-wing crazy who would go nuts over this kind of stuff, then I became a very conflicted and confused “moderate” who didn’t know quite what to do about these things but still strongly felt “they” should all go back and do it legally.  Now I’m a bleeding heart liberal who wants us to throw open our arms and our borders and actually live by “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” 

Why does Alex want to live in America so badly?  He wants to fall in love and be able to live openly and without fear in a same sex relationship.  As we spoke tonight he sadly told me about a close friend of his that was arrested for his immigration status almost 3 months ago.  His friend is from Morocco and is desperate to stay here because he can be jailed for his sexuality if he is sent back home.  He applied for amnesty based on his sexual orientation and was denied.  He appealed and was in the middle of the detailed and exhaustive process when he was was picked up and taken to jail for his illegal status.  He was shipped to a jail near Colorado Springs and remains there almost three months later.

I know we must have immigration laws; I understand that reality, but this is not the answer.  This man is in jail and will likely be sent back to a very unfriendly country where he may be imprisoned for who he is and we don’t consider that important enough for him to stay.

This system is broken, but how do we fix it?

Larry’s 16th Birthday would have been 1 month ago and my heart is broken that he wasn’t here for it.  Any death at that age is nearly impossible for me to understand, but for someone like Larry to have lived and survived through a very rough childhood to only then to have his life cut short simply for being something other than heterosexual, is almost too much to take.

I have read accounts of Larry’s last few weeks and from what I gather Lawrence had started to self-identify as female, going by the name Letitia King.  Whether Larry was a gay boy or Letitia, self-identifying as female makes no difference.  Whether Larry or Letitia, this young life should be remembered an honored for the courage that was shown by just being true to what was inside.

So Larry…Letitia, I honor and remember you today.  Your death broke many hearts, but through that pain many more hearts were changed from fear and anger to reconciliation and love.  Rest in peace.

Lawrence “Larry” “Letitia” King
January 13, 1993 – February 12, 2008

Rest In Peace

http://www.couragecampaign.org/divorce

Ken Starr, who led the campaign to impeach President Bill Clinton, filed a legal brief last month — on behalf of the “Yes on 8″ campaign — that would forcibly divorce 18,000 same-sex couples that were married in California last year before the passage of Prop 8.

Watch “Fidelity” and sign our letter to the state Supreme Court. Tell the Supreme Court to invalidate Prop 8, reject Ken Starr’s case, and let loving, committed couples marry. DEADLINE: Valentine’s Day.

76,283 people have signed the letter (as of Sunday, February 8). Will you add your name now?:

http://www.couragecampaign.org/divorce

“Fidelity” used with permission from Regina Spektor and EMI Records.

Click here to view the embedded video.

UPDATE 01/16/2009: Khadr likely to leave Gitmo soon after Obama inauguration.

Someone over at GraphJam.com game up with this brilliant and incredibly accurate graph.